The truth about healing after trauma

Content note: This post discusses trauma, violence, and recovery.

People love to say, “Just move on.”

Sometimes they mean well. Sometimes they don’t know what else to say. Sometimes they want a neat ending because it helps *them* feel safe.

But here’s the truth no one warned me about: after trauma, “moving on” isn’t a moment. It’s not a decision you make once. It’s not a mindset quote you slap on top of a nervous system that’s still bracing for impact.

For me, “moving on” was learning how to live in my body again.

What happened didn’t just hurt me—it rewired me

In 2014, I lived through something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I was held hostage, beaten severely, and ultimately rescued by SWAT members.

I’m not sharing that for shock value. I’m sharing it because if you’ve been through something extreme—or something quieter but still life-altering—you deserve to know this:

If you don’t “bounce back,” it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your body did exactly what it was designed to do: survive.

Trauma doesn’t only live in memory. It lives in the nervous system. It can change sleep, digestion, focus, relationships, and the way you interpret safety. It can make you feel like you’re always “too much” or “not enough,” sometimes in the same day.

And one of the hardest parts? People often expect your healing to look tidy.

The lie: “If you’re still affected, you must be choosing it”

I used to think healing meant I’d wake up one day and feel like the old me again.

But the old me didn’t exist anymore—not because I was ruined, but because I had been changed. And healing wasn’t about going backward. It was about building forward.

What no one warned me about is that trauma recovery can look like:

- being “fine” for weeks, then getting hit with a trigger out of nowhere

- feeling guilty for not being over it fast enough

- questioning your instincts and your judgment

- feeling disconnected from your body, your joy, your faith, or your future

- being exhausted by things that used to be easy

If any of that is you, I want you to hear me: you’re not failing. You’re adapting.

The truth: your nervous system is doing its job

When something terrifying happens, your body learns patterns:

- scan for danger

- stay ready

- don’t relax

- don’t trust

- don’t feel too much

That’s not “drama.” That’s biology.

This is why “just move on” can feel impossible. Because your body is still trying to keep you alive—even when the danger is over.

And here’s the part that changed everything for me: healing isn’t only about understanding what happened. It’s about helping your body learn that it’s safe now.

What actually helped me (and why I founded Soul Glow Guru)

I’m Nicole. Today I’m a business owner, health professional, author, and keynote speaker. But the title I care about most is this:

I’m no longer a victim. I don’t even have to live under the label of “survivor” if I don’t want to. I am the founder of my new life.

I founded Soul Glow Guru because I know what it’s like to suffer the way I used to—quietly, intensely, and in ways most people can’t see. I created it to help people who are stuck in survival mode begin to feel safe again—body, mind, and spirit.

That’s why I offer:

- CNS grounding sessions that help reset and stabilize the nervous system

- Neurofeedback to support retraining and rewiring the brain

- VNS support to help calm and strengthen the parasympathetic nervous system (your “rest and restore” state)

- Spiritual mentorship (I’m also a Reverend)

- A blend of supportive modalities such as magnet therapy, EFT (tapping), and Bach remedies

I don’t believe healing has to be either spiritual *or* scientific. I believe it can be both.

5 things no one warned me about “moving on” (and what to do instead)

1) “Moving on” doesn’t mean you stop getting triggered

It means you learn what your triggers are—and you recover faster.

Try this (2 minutes):

- Inhale 4 seconds

- Exhale 6–8 seconds

- Repeat 6–10 rounds

Longer exhales help signal safety to the body.

2) You can’t mindset your way out of survival mode

If your body is bracing, your thoughts will follow. Start with the body first: breath, grounding, gentle movement, nervous system support.

3) Progress is measured in safety, not in speed

Healing isn’t “I never think about it again.”

Healing is: “I don’t abandon myself when it comes up.”

Ask: *What would help me feel 5% safer today?*

That question changed my life.

4) Boundaries are part of recovery

After trauma, boundaries aren’t optional—they’re medicine.

You can say:

- “No.”

- “Not today.”

- “I’m not available for that conversation.”

- “I’m protecting my peace.”

You don’t owe anyone access to you.

5) Your spirit may need care, too

If you’re spiritual, you don’t have to use faith to bypass pain. You can use it to stay connected to hope.

A simple practice:

- Put your hand on your heart.

- Pray (or speak) one honest sentence: “Help me feel safe in my body again.”

- Then breathe.

Sometimes the most powerful spiritual act is staying present.

The real truth about “moving on”

Moving on isn’t forgetting. It isn’t pretending. It isn’t “being positive.”

Moving on is reclaiming your life—one choice at a time.

It’s learning to trust your body again. It’s learning to sleep again. It’s learning to feel joy without waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s learning that what happened to you is part of your story—but it doesn’t get to be the author of your future.

If you’re still in it, I want you to know: I see you. And there is a way through.

If you want support, Soul Glow Guru exists for the version of you who’s done just surviving—and is ready to start building.

Phone number 479-222-0895

Email is connect@gmail.com